Book Specs 📖

• Author: Nico Lang
• Genre: Non-fiction/LGBTQIA+
• Publisher: Abrams Press
• Pages: 288

One Sentence Synopsis🔖

Eight interviews with teenagers about navigating life as non-binary/transgender in American.

Notes/Thoughts📝

• This book was suggested by a member of my work book club. Unconsciously, I looked for tragedy in these stories, so much that I became less engaged with the book for the first couple of stories. Each teenager that shared their story had a very strong support system which at first can be seen as unrealistic but maybe that was intentional. I can appreciate the view that optimism is just the other side of the coin. Seeing my own biases reflected in my expectations of stories was very humbling.
• In book club we discussed the structure of anecdotes/interviews as ways to plant seeds instead of changing minds. In other words, change happens not all at once but one conversation at a time. We start with ourselves, by being what we want to be unapologetically and how that inspires others to be themselves, and slowly how our small actions for change create ripples, then waves.
• I loved Wyatt’s non-romantic relationship with Ben. So often gay literature is over-sexualized where this becomes part of their identity. It was a nice to normalize friendship in homosexual relationships. Gayness is portrayed a certain way in the media, and maybe this is where some of the fear comes from with more conservative communities.
• These stories made me think about how each intersection of your identity that is not socially/politically accepted takes up extra capacity and effort that you could otherwise use to learn or just be. There are layers of privilege I don’t have to think about daily – these are all things to not only be thankful for but to think about how I can give back.
• Since I live in Canada, it was informative to learn how gender transforming medication was being criminalized as child abuse in the States. Only south of the border, but a completely different world. As I get older, I’m able to appreciate the perspective of parents and the lengths they go to protect their children, relearn the new world and make sure their kids are safe. It’s comforting to understand that everyone is just on their own path of discovery. When seen through this lens, it’s also permission to forgive our parents because they are experiencing things for the first time too.
• I loved Mykah’s use of fluid pronouns throughout her interview. Gender is categorical; life is messy. To make sense of the world we often put things into boxes. The truth is we need to be comfortable with change, shifting, transformation. If something as factual as gender is fluid, then think of the myriad of ways life moves and how we’ve boxed ourselves in to goals/definitions/end posts that we’ve set as stationary. How would life change if we could move with the world instead of tethering ourselves to the ground.
• Clint was an interesting profile to include because of the intersections of religion (Christian and Islam) but more importantly how they could exist together. To understand that families can work around complexities and put religious and political differences aside if they want to is a testament that love can conquer everything.
• I resonated most with Augie as the emotional caretaker of her family. Taking responsibility at a young age robs you of the experiences to be a kid – it changes your brain chemistry and you forget how to look after your own needs. While being applauded for being mature and perceptive, the truth is that the choice was not theirs, the circumstances demanded it. All kids need time to be kids, to make mistakes, and understand how they can still retain the playfulness of youth into adulthood – that is perhaps the biggest success of living.

“Quotes”🗣

“When you listen to stories and hear them, it can move people to action…We know ourselves better than anyone else. We have stories that we want to tell. We should tell them.”

“The beautiful thing about transgender people is that they understand at a very deep level that their soul, not their body, is truly who they are and who we all are, and that is the foundation for dignity and respect…”

“Nature is the way humans want to see ourselves…We’d like to believe that we’re indestructible and ceaseless, like we’re always going to be there, but the only thing that really can do that is nature. It’s interesting that we like to try.”

“The best family can do is just try to understand and accept, always be supportive…If you love someone, there shouldn’t be any conditions attached.“

“…being transgender doesn’t have to define them or be the most important part of their life, that it can be just one small aspect of the messiness that makes them human.“