Extremely random thought…
Do you look at love and relationships as a one-time purchase model or a subscription? Let me explain. A one-time purchase is buying the whole iPhone vs. leasing the phone over 24 months or it’s buying the rights to own the software instead of paying for the service per month ex. Spotify/Apple Music. How does someone’s perception on love change how they behave and which one do you prefer. Let’s look at some pro’s and cons:
Pros of One-Time
- No interest payments, if this applies
- Over time, investment pays for itself if service/product used regularly
Cons of One-Time
- Big commitment to a product you may/may not like
- New features will probably not be integrated into the version you purchased
Pros for Subscription
- Less risky up-front cost; more manageable month-to-month costs
- Will not have to worry about outdated features/version
- Non-contractual – can switch to another service/product at any time
Cons for Subscription
- Ongoing costs that will cost more $ over time than up-front
- Added interest if that applies
- If you stop a subscription you will most likely lose all access to the benefits of the product/service
Here’s my take…I think love is a little more ambiguous than the economic model for purchasing a product. I see the benefits of both a one-time purchase (put all your eggs in the same basket) and treating love as a subscription. Going all in requires faith and conviction that you’ll maximize the use of the product/service, almost blind faith that I’ll make my money’s worth. Like marriage, it’s the same…but different. You go in with the assumption that your commitment to one person will last a lifetime, that it’ll be worth it. The problem with this model is complacency. The problem is not in the model but the mindset that once we commit, there is no more work to be done, that we have understood everything about a person, that we can dust our hands on our coattails and call it a day. I’m more in line with the subscription model for a successful relationship. Successful defined as a commitment to keep choosing your partner every day. To understand that you’re paying for a service/product month-to-month and still want to renew because you see the benefits of this person in your life, to continuously learn new features/new things about each other…I think that is the making of a relationship greater than the sum of its parts. The only glaring danger of the subscription model is FOMO, of losing access to something beneficial or keeping something just because you fear the void of not having something/someone. I think that’s a toxic motivating factor.
My unsolicited relationship advice is to do a trial before you make the one-time purchase and if you switch or start with a subscription model, to evaluate periodically if you are taking advantage of the product/service, or in the context of relationships, how you feel in the relationship and the effort you have been investing to learn about another person. Maximization of any model is personal. In love, it comes down to how you make the other person feel and if you have made decisions that maximize your happiness.