Rating: 4.8/5
Wow! This was borderline textbook but the care and in-depth research from van der Kolk made it intriguing, nonetheless. As the founder and medical director of the Trauma Center in Brookline, Massachusetts, the author meticulously selects pertinent case studies that help the reader understand the neurological, spiritual, developmental, psychological underpinnings of trauma and offers alternative methods to move forward with living a fuller life. Van der Kolk manages to write with an air of empathy and understanding despite his prestige; I appreciated this the most.
Thoughts/Insights:
- Neurobiology asserts that our mirror neurons will also pick up other’s negativity such as the anger and depression of others. The takeaway is to be selective of who you surround yourself with and how to respond objectively/calmly to negative behaviors
- How a physician or close family/friend responds to your cries for help shape how you will view your problem. For example, if the solution to chronic depression is to prescribe medication immediately, then the person will assume that this is purely neurological without looking at the strength of social support, recent and developmental history etc.
- Everyone is fighting their own battle; someone menacing and angry may be cowering a fearful on the inside. We need to be more understanding and not take transgressions personally
- Interoception, the awareness of internal physical sensations, is just as important as understanding your self-concept. Once you understand your physical sensations and connect them with your emotions/behaviours, you have more control managing information/stimulus. Alexithymia which is the Greek word for not being able to put your feelings into words, causes people to be out of touch with themselves and therefore compromises their ability for self-care
- If someone is unable to speak out about trauma, they will act this out in other ways i.e. rage, seclusion, etc.
- Unresolved trauma will continue to secrete stress hormones for fight/flight/freeze – this further impairs the ability to sustain meaningful relationships and have a purpose for living. The natural state of mammals is to be defensive, so in order to play, mate, and nurture the young, the brain needs to temporarily shut off the defense system and associate closeness with safety
Favourite Quotes:
Trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way mind and brain manage perceptions. It changes not only how we think and what we think about, but also our very capacity to think. Social support is not the same as merely being in the presence of others. The critical issue is reciprocity: being truly heard and seen by the people around us, feeling that we are held in someone else’s mind and heart. …ordinary memory is adaptive; our stories are flexible and can be modified to fit the circumstances. Ordinary memory is essentially social; it’s a story that we tell for a purpose. “When you’re not afraid of being hurt, you can know people differently.” Understanding why you feel a certain way does not change how you feel. But it can keep you from surrendering to intense reactions. …stress is not an inherent property of events themselves—it is a function of how we label and react to them. Awareness that all experience is transitory changes your perspective on yourself.